(A Eulogy: In Memory of the late F. L. Molina, RN)
One of the many joys in my life were the people whom I met along the way; they are the real “treats”, the testimonies to show that everything was created out of God’s love. Looking back, these people left a distinguished mark. They added substance to my life. Their common denominator is that, I have to spend so short a time with them. Thinking about it, their presence has been God’s gift. Their lives, like a brush of wonder that came in passing for the sole purpose of telling me that life is beautiful. Truly, life is a roller coaster ride, with its entire unpredictable manner.
Mine seemed to slide fast… from the heights of glory, my life seems to sail at the bottom in a flash… The limelight has dimmed, the applause faded. I was lost and alone, trying to understand what went wrong.
I am about to tell you about a remarkable woman who “took me out of the dark”. I came to know her at the heights of my glorious days. She was just one of the “expectators” at first. As I prepare for a significant event in my life, she was one of those who extend a hand. At those times, I thought it was just part of her role, just a part of her gracious character. She was a great source of great words and inspiration. When the world is against me, and my heart knows only hatred and pain, this woman became my lifeline.
New Year’s Eve mass. This woman is the only person who has the courage to come over and talk to me. At that point, in my life, the feeling of hurt and betrayal had been eating my heart out. The feeling of being judged and slapped with sharp accusations from the same people who has been cheering and rejoicing with me at my joyful moments was just unbearable, the height of treachery and betrayal of trust. I was never as hurt as I was feeling that night.
As we stand there, in the midst of the sea of judging eyes, I saw a light of hope flicker. In her eyes shone the faith and wisdom of a woman with seasoned character; her firm handshake told me that despite the stigma that was unjustly thrown to me, I was never less in her eyes; her faith in me as a person never changed. In her simple gesture, she restored my faith in people. I was overwhelmed; I almost cannot keep myself from crying aloud. This moment was the most crucial one, a turning point.
The Lord may have been testing my faith and endurance. This was the moment that I found the strength to let myself out from the misery of pain and bitterness. It was the beginning of my struggle in facing my fears; the start of my tedious battling with bitterness and anger and letting my heart forgive; and I had known FAITH.
Late last week, I heard the bad news… Cancer has taken her life away. I was in deep solitude upon learning the bad news. It made me think about the few times I came across this amazing woman; those seemingly ordinary encounters. I did not tell her how I felt, and I am sure she was not even aware with the momentous moment she shared with me. She may be gone… Nevertheless, she will continue to be an inspiration. Moreover, her memory lives on in my heart. If in the near future I would face the same kind of struggle, I have that memory to help me through, the weapon of a warrior heart. Godspeed, Ma’am F., you have been and will forever be… an angel in disguise…
©2006leofinajanegalleta
Leofina Jane
