“How to be a friend? How to maintain a good friendship? These contemplative questions led me to gather my thoughts on the essentials of friendship.
I often say that I prefer friendships more than romantic relationships. My reason is that, in friendships, there are no “breaking ups”. I might not get hurt because of separations. I was wrong.
The word “best friend” is one thing that I avoid to use when referring to my friends. It is because I believe that such description do not depict fair and unbiased judgment towards my friends. It opposes everything that I believe in when it comes to friendship. I find the word “best friend” to be a little self-serving, in some way or another. I maybe coming too strong, but this is my reality. For me, either one is a friend, or not. No if’s, no but’s.
I respect individuality. I always look at each person to be basically unique from the other. With this reason alone, I do not categorize my friends from “least to best”. Thus, I don’t use the word “best friend”. I love and care for my friends in different ways, based on my personal and individual relationship with each of them. The degree of closeness and level of connections in my interactions renders a vital and definitive factor in each friendship that I have.
I view friendship the same way that I do with a two-way street. For me, friendship is not more than a relationship between TWO individuals. How one treats the other defines that friendship. Most of the time, it does extend to a larger group. However, the depth of connection is never the same. That being said, I see a group of friends to be made up of many friendships. Each one is a friend to each part of the group, like intertwined links of friendships.
Friendship isn’t just about common grounds and interests. It is more than similarity of ideas and belief. It is beyond having fun in doing things together. Friendship is about honest relationships. It is about commitment and honesty. It is a gift of unity that naturally evolves with time as two people co-exist and adjust to their individual differences. Friendship is a life-long process. It is like growing old with the other. It is in this process that the friendship is strengthened and cultivated.
Each of us may have had encountered some “so-called friends” in our life. It is most likely that such friendships didn’t last-for various reasons. One might have given up, even if the other keeps on trying. Friendship depends on individual maturity, willingness to commit, and open-mindness of both parties. Same with other kinds of relationships, there are endings in friendship. Friendship ends when one refuses to listen, when one refuses to communicate, when one refuses to understand.
For me, a true friend choses to discuss assumed mistakes committed by the other- one could be wrong in his/her assumption. A true friend knows how to validate assumptions and interpretations in a fair, just, and rational way. Hence, true friendship would last more than a lifetime when each “friend” knows how to be a “real friend” at all times.
Copyright by: Leofina Jane G.Galleta
All Rights Reserved.©2008leofinajanegalleta
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